So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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