dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
