As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize