please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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