moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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