Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
