i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
