she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
