Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
