shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
