You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
