You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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