Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize