You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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