Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
