Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
