That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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