We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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