Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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