omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
