I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
