Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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