i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
