I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
