maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
