the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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