I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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