She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
