I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
