I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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