And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
