If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
