Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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