Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
