I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
