he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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