is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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