I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
