Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have fence marks all over my body
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