im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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