dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
