There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
