Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
