I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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