I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
