just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
