I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize