everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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