I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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