can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just high enough for therapy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
