How's work?
Spinning.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
