I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
