Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
