Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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