You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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