Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My pussy is not your playground.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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