Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize