i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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