So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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