It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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