so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
