Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wat bout pragnant strippers??
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
