Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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