Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize