What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
