it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
