So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I love having hate sex.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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