Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
