I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
