I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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