I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
