he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
