I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
