I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
