she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
