It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
