ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
