i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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